Exhale

part of me yet seeks to be

still.

exhale

without soulclawing for air

in a pain-murmuring body

holding itself hostage.

daily, i hunt armistice,

for tenuous relief

from this sisyphean shell,

forever roiling with

ebbs + echoes

of bonerooted pain-

newly validated

by nodding white coats.

the nightmare breathes inside my skin

i feel it

before my eyelids even flutter open

it whispers me awake

an agony anthem

gleefully unraveling

the sandman’s lullaby

in its midnight playground

disease has burned its brand on me

its spiderweb suffering

deepwoven into fickle DNA

seeking mastery with a conqueror’s fist

yet i

like many others

am so much more than the pain i carry

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Potential

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Prospects stir within me

peeking through the murk

of disarming doubts

and missed opportunities

to eye tomorrow speculatively

They venture forward

brushing aside

clinging fragments of fear

trailing shreds of futures

from restless dreams

shedding past selves

and stowing their baggage

in the corner

My possibilities

jockey for position

as they thrum restlessly

at the starting line of my soul

waiting to gallop off

and be chosen

as the one

who could change everything

Recollect

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i can’t stop spending

the mishmash currency of

coin-cast moments

stacked neatly on

an unevenly varnished

mental shelf.

such cautious sentries,

canaries trumpeting their warning of

the tides of change

that spiral kitten soft

licking & mewling at corners.

i reach & reach

grabbing dog-eared delusions

frozen amber frenzies,

unspooled choices &

pearled nostalgia,

for my first annual

Freudian tag sale

Overflow

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Heavyloaded with overfull emotions

A skin sponge in dire need of wringing

I don’t know what to do with all this excess.

Strange sadness fills me

and there are no mind mops or

betrayal buckets handy.

My heart’s basement is

haunted, cluttered & overcrowded

But I still can’t bring myself

to take out the trash.

So I come here,

to this white space in need of filling,

and coax out edges and curves that

curse as they try to capture ephemera.

Over and over, until what’s inside me spills out

and molds the most bitter glorious unbroken words

that save me from drowning.

Emotions

Crinkly gray drapes

Bat ineffectually at the

Fluttering emotions

Whisking and teasing

out the soul window

Not bothering to wave goodbye

Or apologize for the mess they’ve made of the room

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