Exhale

part of me yet seeks to be

still.

exhale

without soulclawing for air

in a pain-murmuring body

holding itself hostage.

daily, i hunt armistice,

for tenuous relief

from this sisyphean shell,

forever roiling with

ebbs + echoes

of bonerooted pain-

newly validated

by nodding white coats.

the nightmare breathes inside my skin

i feel it

before my eyelids even flutter open

it whispers me awake

an agony anthem

gleefully unraveling

the sandman’s lullaby

in its midnight playground

disease has burned its brand on me

its spiderweb suffering

deepwoven into fickle DNA

seeking mastery with a conqueror’s fist

yet i

like many others

am so much more than the pain i carry

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Charlottesville 

Image credit goes to Jim Bourg at Reuters

when the light dims

and hate from the shadows

explodes into rancor headlines

man reveals beast 

our true colors, warped 

painting promises of a dark Prometheus 

they seek rabid rapture in oppression

hollow edged fists bear torches

obscuring our triumph, our passion, our poignancy

illuminating our savagery, our inhumanity, our bloodlust

the racism coiling sinuous leather lies in the name of progress

emboldened by leaders 

hungering for divides and distractions 

they march proudly 

into their sham conqueror’s high

old flags expose ancient hates in new masks

and pointing fingers meet screaming eyes

 

It is not enough to witness

It is not enough to condemn

It is not enough to disavow

Now, we must love

And act and hope and hurt and sob

Unite and fight and thrive and reach 

Revel in every single flavor of humanity

Live beyond our labels

And together, rise

 

Mirror

488224_625229996956_47473922_nwho am i today?

a tightly threaded unsung melody

coiled beneath coppery spooled skin

forcing strength enough to push through

or a resigned slave eroded by exhaustion

dangling green grapes into the

yawning mouth of lassitude.

do i have my warrior will to fight

to once again ignore screaming bones

and dive into the sunken spray of life

or am i crouching in my hunchback shade

hiding behind a mask of pain and rage

snarling at those who draw too near

on days like today

if you held the mirror before me

i’m not sure who i’d be

i’m not even sure

who i want to be anymore

Fuse

tender, unbroken mind

tries & fails

to compress the stress

of a blown fuse

 

hardwired to survive

even with too much damage

and too many scars

blue bruised

but not yet vanquished

 

despite Pain

that hooks & flays all paths

shark-swimming crossroads of

the bare brain

leaving it explosively exposed

 

the endless screech

of a broken violin string

crusted iron edged tendrils

fear screaming a whiplash web

through overworked vessels

begging for respite

 

no help comes

but with each blow

struck by each enemy

eroding my body

my soul grows stronger.

Forces

Oh those fickle
Quicksilver butterflies of fate
fluttering in fixed orbit
around future steps i take

doing battle with the
earthgrounded giants of choice
bellowing as they stagger stamp
footprints in opposite directions

both ignoring the chaos chameleons
darting underfoot and idly unweaving
any patterns or prints they can reach

booming bass bellows of
the battlegrounds of life
erupting explosively from my core
threatening to drown out all else

so i make my soul
into a divine dreamcatcher

filtering out the buzz
and tumult of noisy forces
pulsing through the earth’s heartbeat

until I can only hear
my own
and walk free

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