Prospects stir within me

peeking through the murk

of disarming doubts

and missed opportunities

to eye tomorrow speculatively

They venture forward

brushing aside

clinging fragments of fear

trailing shreds of futures

from restless dreams

shedding past selves

and stowing their baggage

in the corner

My possibilities

jockey for position

as they thrum restlessly

at the starting line of my soul

waiting to gallop off

and be chosen

as the one

who could change everything



what is the beauty

of bittersweet

my emotions used to be


no matter how many switches

i flipped

demons blinded me

but now i can feel

a million million colors

it makes me proud, fierce

like a shadow stricken elephant

who remembers a time without

yet still, right now

the edges of my emotions run ragged

blurry watercolor fault lines

sun swaying and thorn cloudy

the currency of my feelings

cannot spend

and i’m left bare, confused


Words do not flow freely from uneager mouths. Mine, at least, stumble and tumult from doubting fingertips, spiraling half-remembered stories. Churning brain cells work to rewind and unsnarl the growling, tangled reels. One step ahead of the executioner, knife skipping from one edge to another, from one country to the next.

Wandering happily with an undercurrent of longing. Memories and obligations demand entry on sleepless nights, leaving sheets as knotty and cracked as ancient skin.

Sloppy kisses from adoring younger sisters. Out-of-breath cackling from telling my mom a joke to erase a look in her eyes I didn’t understand. Tatter stained childish wonderment at the unfairness of life, the rare snatches of bliss before ears trained to listen twitched and grabbed the fire extinguisher of self-preservation.

The savaged dreams, guardian-kissed escapes and unquenchable scars unbind from patterned whorls delicately etching the passage of time. They wrap around a pen and march across my keyboard, determined soldiers who will carry out the mission even if they don’t really know the goal.

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